


Santa’s little helpers

by thejourneymaninn



Series: Domestic shenanigans [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Lyriumchristmas, M/M, Presents, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 15:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8849578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejourneymaninn/pseuds/thejourneymaninn
Summary: Anders and Fenris tackle the difficult task of finding gifts for their friends.
Part of Domestic Shenanigans. Like all fics belonging to this series, it can be read as a stand-alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the lyriumchristmas challenge on tumblr. Prompt: “Buying presents”

“We have too many friends,” Fenris sighed as they left yet another store empty-handed. “This is going to take all day. All week, if we remain this inefficient.”

“Don’t worry, we just have to stick to the list and we’ll be out of here in no time,” Anders replied distractedly, ducking an elbow and only narrowly managing to avoid a collision with a heap of shopping bags (presumably, there was a person somewhere in there as well, but they were impossible to make out).

“Your ‘list’ consists of nothing but names with question marks behind them.”

“There _are_ ideas for some of them! And it’s not my fault. I’ve been working so many nightshifts lately, I’ve as good as forgotten what our friends even look like…. I challenge you to do better!”

“ _I_ hardly remember what _you_ look like. This is your only day off this week. I’d rather not spend it being squashed to death. Why is this place so crowded? Have these people never heard of the internet?”

“I’m fairly certain they have…Where else would they get their porn? But you can’t do Christmas shopping online. That takes all the fun out of it.”

Fenris turned to him, expression unmoving. “Of course. The fun.”

“Oh, don’t be such a grouch. We’ll simply…” Anders trailed off, his attention suddenly captured by something that was apparently a lot more interesting than his boyfriend- on _the only day together they’d had all week_. The bitter remark Fenris was about to throw at the back of his head made way for a smirk, however, when he realised just what it was that had Anders so distracted.

“I’ll make you an offer: We go home _now_ and look for presents online. In exchange, I’ll let you buy _that_ without arguing.”

The reply was little more than an awestruck whisper.

“Deal.”

 

 

As it turned out, Christmas shopping online came with only marginally less arguing and indecision, but at least they got to bicker while they were snuggled up against each other on the couch, their hot chocolates within arm’s reach, so Fenris counted it as a win anyway.

A win that admittedly left him with the bulk of the effort, as Anders had lost interest in the process pretty much the moment Fenris had opened his laptop and kept trying to sneak a hand under his sweater. Having repeatedly been denied access, he opted to instead stroke his fingers along Fenris’ thigh in a manner that was distractingly delightful.

“Cease this. You insisted we _had_ to do this _today_ , and we shall.”

“Hmmm,” Anders replied, nibbling along his ear like the cunning bastard that he was, “you know, now that we’re back home, I can think of better ways to spend our time… Tell you what, why don’t we just turn that thing off and get to the fun part right away? You can search for gifts while I’m at work. You’ll find something nice. I trust you.”

All the nibbling and honey-dripping speech in the world wouldn’t be enough to convince him to let Anders get away with this, Fenris decided with a heavy heart and a protesting groin. “You trust me to do all the work for both of us. I am touched.” He moved his head, and ears, out of the area of attack and swatted the trespassing hand away. “The faster you start to contribute, the sooner we will be done with this. What shall we get for Merrill?”

“Why do we even have to get her anything…?” Anders grumbled, still refusing to focus on the screen.

“Because for reasons far beyond my limited understanding of the universe, she is our friend. And you get on better with her than I do, so I suggest you think of something.”

Once Anders had finally gotten over his stubborn refusal to cooperate, finding a gift for Merrill turned out to be surprisingly simple.

“So, a subscription to ‘History monthly’ it is?”

“Yes,” Anders nodded. “That’ll give her even more obscure details to bore us with.” He rubbed his hands together. “Alright, on to the next. Let’s make this the quickest Christmas shopping ever.”

“We have squandered too much time for that already.”

“Pfft, the time I wasn’t actively involved doesn’t count. This is a team effort. Alright, next: Varric?”

The answer came in unison. “Notebooks.”

Fenris frowned. They should probably narrow that down a bit. “Any suggestions as to which designs he might prefer?”

“I think I saw an ad for a site that offers ‘Dwarven crafts’ the other day. Google it. Maybe they also have dwarven ale. I’m pretty sure he only writes when he’s drunk. I’ve read some of his stuff; there’s no other explanation.”

“I always figured other intoxicants had to be involved... But we should probably stick to legally obtainable gifts.”

They found the site and picked out several notebooks decorated with ‘original-style dwarven rune designs’ as well as a selection of ales.

“Look,” Anders pointed at the screen, “doesn’t that subscription just scream ‘Isabela’? ‘Booze of the month’…What?” he asked when Fenris started to chuckle helplessly.

“I read that as ‘boobs of the month’.”

Anders grinned. “Well, she’d probably be happy with either. Let’s stick with booze, though.”

“I like the idea. What should we get for Hawke? Your list only said ‘dog’. He already has one.”

“Well, not _a_ dog. Just something dog-related…I’ll check the site where I got my cat sweater. Of course, dog patterns aren’t nearly as fashionable as cats, but then, Hawke’s style isn’t nearly as cool as mine…”

Fenris took a sip of his hot chocolate.

“You’re supposed to agree with me.”

“Silence is as far as I’ll go. Quit while you’re ahead.”

Miraculously, Anders heeded his advice and started to click his way through increasingly garish items at an alarming speed. Fenris decided this was a task better left to him, so he closed his eyes and let his head rest on Anders’ shoulder.

Several minutes later, a triumphant “Ha!” startled him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“I knew you weren’t paying attention!” Anders exclaimed no less triumphantly. “Weren’t you the one who insisted on concentration? And…”

“I was contemplating things to do…afterwards…”

As predicted, that was enough to make Anders drop the subject. “Well….alright then. But no more dozing off! What do you think of these for Hawke?”

“A calendar of dogs in…pin-up poses? And is that a… _dragon onesie_?”

“Yes. So, what do you think?”

“I…am beginning to understand why he keeps complaining we don’t respect him.”

“Bah,” Anders waved him off. “It comes from a place of love. We mock because we care.”

“Then I suppose I should cherish your constant stream of insolent remarks.”

“That would be a wise choice, love.” Anders flashed him a cheeky grin. “But you’re right, we should also get him something a bit more serious. Any ideas?”

He shrugged. “We could get him a subscription, too. Perhaps those _Adventuring!_ comics he likes so much?”

“God, yes! Just imagine – no more whining about how they’re sold out and then dragging us along to hunt for them in every tiny run-down store in town…”

“A gift for him as well as for ourselves,” Fenris agreed. 

“Come to think of it, we should also get a gift for Barkylicious. Treats, or a chew-toy or something.”

Fenris nodded. “True. I will get something when I buy groceries. So, Aveline?”

“I’ll leave that to you. I don’t think she likes me all that much.”

“Not surprising, given how much you love to annoy her.” He sighed. “I have seen little of her since the wedding. They are busy renovating their new house.”

The grin that crept on Anders’ face was positively devious. “Now that you mentioned the wedding, I have an idea for her _and_ Donnic…dancing lessons.”

There was a short silence as Fenris tried to process the thought. “She would murder us.”

“Oh, absolutely. But it would be worth it. We could sneak in and watch…”

“That is inappropriate. And too tempting to resist.”

“Right? And since they’re renovating, we could also get them a gift-card for a hardware store. You know, so she can buy tools to murder us with…” Anders added, winking at him.

“Shall we order the gift-card in her name and the dancing lessons in his?”

“Oh, good idea. She’ll kill us anyway, but no need to provide her with extenuating circumstances.” 

“I agree. That leaves Sebastian.”

Anders face scrunched up as if he had smelled something exceedingly unpleasant. “If we _have_ to get him something…oh, I don’t know. A bible?”

“He is my friend. Be nice.”

“Two bibles?”

Fenris rolled his eyes. “Very helpful…. He enjoys hunting. Perhaps something to do with that?”

“Of course. Droning on about the beauty of God’s creation…and then killing it. Typical.”

“You had three burgers before we left the mall.”

It was Anders’ turn to roll his eyes. “It’s called hypocrisy, Fenris. You of all people should know, since you’re a dedicated practitioner of the art.” He softened the harsh words with a kiss to his nose.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Fenris deadpanned. “And we have yet to find something for Sebastian.”

Anders’ face slowly split into a wide grin. “Hunting, hm? How about another subscription? ‘Horse & Hound’?”

Fenris narrowed his eyes. That had been…suspiciously helpful. But in all honesty, he didn’t really care. “Sounds good to me.”

“Perfect. So…we are officially done with Christmas shopping. Time to leave this couch and get to the good part,” Anders wiggled his eyebrows, nodding to the carrier bag on the table. “We bought such a nice costume.”

“You are ridiculous.”

“Yes, I am. And you love me for it.”

“I do,” Fenris nodded, wrapping an arm around him and tucking his head firmly underneath his chin.

“I’m glad we got that sorted.” Anders pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Now, shall we see if we can persuade Pounce to wear his present?”

“Ten more minutes…” Fenris mumbled against his neck.

“Ah, come on. _You_ were the one who insisted I go with the Christmas angel costume because Santa Claus would ‘clash with his fur’.”

“I was merely trying to keep the damage to a minimum. Your poor cat cannot defend itself. Someone has to stand against the forces of evil.”

“Admit it, you love him too.”

“I do,” came the grudging reply “Still, I refuse to get up just yet.”

“Alright,” Anders sighed dramatically, “ten more minutes.”


End file.
